Wednesday, July 28, 2010

If I sleep with you, will you hire me?

Well it seems I've hit my lowest.  I have moved beyond disillusion and anger to heavy depression.  Remember, I said this was my place to vent about my emotions so to who ever is actually reading this - bite your tongue and stop rolling your eyes, I'm about to get totally emo.  I am starting to get desperate... I applied to a traveling pharmacist and several positions far away from my lovely, beautiful, super overly expensive apartment.  I know if I move away from this city, I will most likely find a position but I'm just not sure if I am ready to leave my family, friends, boyfriend and life I've rooted here...yes it sounds super petty but it does seem a bit complicated to sublease my apartment and I don't trust people anymore. 

Yesterday I played the role of the housewife and damn... I really don't know how people do it.  I cleaned my apartment and planned a perfect dinner with dessert for my boyfriend and me.  Now, how did this evening go?  My dessert failed, whenever I vary from the recipe and be creative my cakes usually end up like mush and you'd think I'd learn but no it was disgusting.  Dinner was chicken pizza and next I failed at spreading the dough and cried until I got it right.  Literally.. my tears fell into the dough and it wasn't until then was I able to actually somewhat spread it.  I thought tears helping a situation only happens in cartoons.  Though whenever I cry over my computer or cell phone, no one ends up calling me to tell me I am hired, this seems unfair.

Anyway.. I have one other interviewed story to discuss but I don't really feel like into it yet.  I know, I know all of the millions of zero who are reading this, you will have to wait until tomorrow to read about my possible no more fingers crossed cuz I don't believe in luck job at a state hospital.

Have a good night.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

You look like someone killed your puppy: the 2nd Failed Attempt

Now it has been 1 month and 2 days since I've worked, let alone been close to a pharmacy. I refuse to go into any chain that I left which trust me is actually really difficult and I have to walk an extra few blocks to another retail chain.

My reasoning into switching right away to hospital was because it is easier to explain the dreaded question "Why did you leave your last position?" I know the interviewer wants and maybe needs to know but why do you think I left my other job, it is either "Sh_t happened and I had to get out of there as quickly as possible" or "My boss was a freaking rude idiot who I had to avoid like the plague" Though something ingrained in me said these answers are not appropriate. So then what do you say? I left the perils of retail, too exhausted and saddened by my clinical skill set being used towards solving insurance rejections and being able to located any item in the store by aisle, row, color and shape, in hope of changing to hospital pharmacy where I can be a shining ball of drug information on an integrated healthcare team.  My team members will respect me and call upon me for any medication related question and use my interventions is any situation.  Yes... as you can tell I am very disillusioned about my career.... I blame my college.
But hospitals had no opens and huge budget cuts or as I was told thus hey, I was a great retail pharmacist.  Though it is a bit difficult to explain "why did you leave a retail chain for another retail chain?"

Deep down, I loved my job (I think that is why I still cry myself to sleep on occassion when I dwell on what I lost) and I really missed my patients.  I only worked at the store for 8 months and yet I knew who the most common patients were, I knew their personalities, how to speak to them to make them feel ultra important and fabulous and really cared that they received proper healthcare services.
Thus my next attempt:

Attempt 2: National Chain 1 - NC1
I contacted countless recruiters and applied online to endless amounts of retail chains in my area with no real luck.  Then finally one called me back, the NC1.  I used to work for them back at school, maybe they have employee loyalty and feel the need to hire me.  I know I would be a great asset to them.
We chatted and he forwarded my resume to the District Managers who would ultimately hire me in my area.  And then I waited some more... and more... finally one got back to me.  Her stores were in the trendy areas of the city and we interviewed.  It was amazing, as always, ended with "Oh I'd love to hire you but I'm not sure about an openinging, most likely there will be one and you would be a perfect fit we'll be in contact". 
And were we in contact...?  Not really... I tried calling her, no answer or return.  Eventually after a 10 days she picks up," Oh I am still interested, I was very impressed by your interview and I want you.  I am waiting on human resources. Call back on Monday."  I went through the weekend super excited, I even bought new pants for work and spent a pretty penny on dinner with my boyfriend and friends expecting I will be rolling in money soon.  Monday afternoon I spoke to her... oh you mean there isn't an opening that you kept saying there may mean that pharmacist isn't really leaving thus you have nothing for me... gee thanks...

I just wish the person interviewing would be up front in the begining - No there are NO openings now but we will keep you on file and contact you in either several weeks or months when one definitely comes available.
I don't understand the mind games and I don't have any health insurance to go on any antidepressants to help with this overly bearing saddness. 

Anyway, I get to cook homemade chicken pizza and apple sauce or apple cake for my boyfriend tonight, that'll be cheery!  Haha, something to enlightlen my mood.  At least, I know how to make a killer lemonade and vodka.  In a blender mix powdered lemonade, a cut up peach, add enough water and flavored vodka (my favorites are cherry but also try lemon, citrus, raspberry, blueberry, etc)  for liquids, add ice, and blend away.  Mmmm always tastes good for me. 

Maybe at the end of my pathetic ramblings I'll put a drink creation to at least be somewhat entertaining.
Anyway, you are almost caught up to the present and yes I'm cutting out large portions of my day to day living but trust me, it isn't exciting like that one time I caught a monsterous cat fish in the Mississippi Bay and then earned myself a neck full of Mardi Gras beads.

Searched and Searching: The Beginning.....

So if I was properly going to make this blog I suppose I should have started posting from the beginning rather than one month into my search. Honestly, I did not realize I wouldn't find a position...which is quite idiotic and unrealistic of me to think "oh it won't be difficult to find a job in this economy because I am a pharmacist, a licensed pharmacist in 2 states at that!" Yet that doesn't really seem to mean anything to anyone because no one is hiring in both of the areas I am looking at and trust me, they are large enough areas with hundreds even thousands of pharmacies Can't just one of those pharmacists retire, quit, or do something like I did?
Anyway.... in the next couple of posts I'll put my failed attempts thus far.

If you haven't noticed, I'm not using anything that will really scream out where I live, where I'm looking, or any defining features about myself.... I am an ambiguous giggly cube of jello floating through life who happens to be a pharmacist. Sorry guys but no real details will be exposed but if by chance you are looking to hire a FULLY qualified, lovable pharmacist then please try to get in contact with me.

Attempt 1: "Fancy Hospital 1"
After I found out I will be resigning effective the next day, I hit the websites of all the major metropolitan hospitals in the area and applied to any that had openings for pharmacists with high hopes and dreams and then checked me email religiously the entire weekend. Amazingly, one hospital did and it will be titled Fancy Hospital 1 or FH1. It was a overnight position but a job is a job and especially if it was going to be at one of the top hospitals in the country then hell why not.
Someone in human resources emailed asking me Tuesday morning to call them ASAP so I did and no answer... but I was not discouraged, I called again and emailed her hoping to catch her and did I? Finally after 3 days she called back.... I didn't know ASAP meant a few days later... We talked, it sounded great she was going to set up an interview, I knew I had the position, I was dead set on it. The interview was in a week, I researched everything there was about the pharmacy and hospital, I was set to share my vast knowledge of pharmacy and let my incredible personality shine.
Fast forward to the actual interview, skip through the scenes of me being drenched by a flash thunderstorm.... and I am only interviewing with human resources as a preinterview... but no worries, I still got this. Oh,... HR says there may not actually be a position available... then why the hell is this job opening posted all over their website as well as Monster and RX Career Finder!! But you really like me and you are going to refer me to the pharmacy department as well as the other campuses of your hospital, oh that's great, that's wonderful. I still have a chance.
I was supposed to call her a week later to see how the progress was going. I called... I left a message, no response. I emailed and called again... and now I've been waiting almost 3 weeks with not a word back. At least send me a generic email that says you are declined in big red font.

The disillusion of quickly finding another job has really kicked in....

Monday, July 26, 2010

My Life Thus Far.....

Background... I graduated pharmacy school last year with all the hopes and dreams that all the teachers give you. I was excited about pursuing the great world of pharmacy and being one of the best pharmacists in the world. Where am I now...? Sitting on my couch in my PJs searching the internet for jobs and calling recruiters. Wow I sound like a mid-aged, balding, beer-belly guy. Well, I am far, far from that or at least I hope...otherwise my boyfriend may reconsider this relationship.
Anyway, I'm now in a city scowling for a pharmacist position. I'm not even looking for "THE" position, I'm good for just any position.
I came to this city because of a pharmacy residency which didn't really go the way I had planned and quit leaving me with my lease I couldn't get out of and quickly landed a job as a retail pharmacist. Everything was going as wonderful as things can go in retail until I made an unfortunate decision, things happened, and I had to resume leaving me in the situation I am in now. Lesson learned.... if you are going to do something that may get your fired, make sure you aren't working for the largest company in that city making it almost impossible to find another job. Well, maybe the lesson should have been don't do the stupid thing to begin with but I'm not your mom nor am I trying to give out words of wisdom.
This will be my forum to express my emotional roller coaster of events that hopefully finishes safe with a safe return to the platform and finding a new position, yet so far it is looking like it may be one of those roller coasters that ends with some kid getting his head decapitated.....