If I sleep with you, will you hire me?

Well it seems I've hit my lowest.  I have moved beyond disillusion and anger to heavy depression.  Remember, I said this was my place to vent about my emotions so to who ever is actually reading this - bite your tongue and stop rolling your eyes, I'm about to get totally emo.  I am starting to get desperate... I applied to a traveling pharmacist and several positions far away from my lovely, beautiful, super overly expensive apartment.  I know if I move away from this city, I will most likely find a position but I'm just not sure if I am ready to leave my family, friends, boyfriend and life I've rooted here...yes it sounds super petty but it does seem a bit complicated to sublease my apartment and I don't trust people anymore. 

Yesterday I played the role of the housewife and damn... I really don't know how people do it.  I cleaned my apartment and planned a perfect dinner with dessert for my boyfriend and me.  Now, how did this evening go?  My dessert failed, whenever I vary from the recipe and be creative my cakes usually end up like mush and you'd think I'd learn but no it was disgusting.  Dinner was chicken pizza and next I failed at spreading the dough and cried until I got it right.  Literally.. my tears fell into the dough and it wasn't until then was I able to actually somewhat spread it.  I thought tears helping a situation only happens in cartoons.  Though whenever I cry over my computer or cell phone, no one ends up calling me to tell me I am hired, this seems unfair.

Anyway.. I have one other interviewed story to discuss but I don't really feel like into it yet.  I know, I know all of the millions of zero who are reading this, you will have to wait until tomorrow to read about my possible no more fingers crossed cuz I don't believe in luck job at a state hospital.

Have a good night.